Uthixo

URick Moody kunye no-godsonNgokuqinisekileyo, inokuba yindima yakudala, kodwa umbhali wenoveli uRick Moody, osisikhokelo somoya kwiimoppet ezine ezineenwele zasendle, uwuthathela ingqalelo umsebenzi wakhe: ukuthetha inyani okungeyonyani, eveza intliziyo yakhe, ikrele elisemva kwendlu, kunye nokuzimisela bajike abangcwele phezulu. Ligama elingaqhelekanga kunye nelakudala, 'i-godparent.' Kwaye mhlawumbi yingcamango yakudala. Oko bendicinga ngako ngenye imini mva nje emva kokuchitha imva kwemini nothixo wam uClement, oneminyaka esi-8 ubudala. Ndandiqala ngqa ukumbona ukususela oko wabhaptizwayo, ubhaptizo ababelibazise abazali bakhe kangangethuba elide. Kangangeminyaka. Babengaqinisekanga ukuba loluphi uhlobo lobuKristu ababefuna ukumbhaptiza ngalo, ukuba lukhona. Wathi akundijonga kakuhle uClement, wandimema, 'Ngaba ufuna ukubona izilwanyana zam?' Le Clement ilula yathatyathelwa indawo nguClement owayefuna ukwenza umlo wekrele elihlekisayo ebaleni, enye apho kwafuneka ndisebenzise ikrele le-floppy kwaye ndivume ukutyhutyha ngokomfuziselo. Ngeenwele zakhe ezinde eziblond, uClement wandibetha, kuzo zonke iziphazamiso zakhe, njengomntwana omnandi, wanamhlanje. Ndandiza kumnika ntoni na emhlabeni engekabinayo? Uhlala kwikhaya elihle phezulu emaphandleni elinexhama engceni kunye nedama ekupheleni. Unokuhamba phandle ebusuku aze abone isibhakabhaka siphuma namakroza. Unabazali abathantamisayo, abakrelekrele abaye bancama izinto ezininzi ngenxa yakhe nabangaphezu kwamandla abo ukumilisela kuye ubomi bokomoya ukuba yiloo nto kanye abafuna ukuyenza.



Ngaphandle kukaClement, ndinguthixo kwabanye abantwana abathathu. Ndibe ngumsebenzi oluncedo kwindawo ye-godparenting. Ndatshata kwasebutsheni bam, andinabo nabaphi abantwana abangabam, ngoko ndisoloko ndifumaneka. Hamba nomntu ovumayo nokwaziyo ukukhonza! Ngoko: Kukho inkwenkwana endala yomntakwethu, uDylan; kukho uLucinda, intombi yesibini yomhlobo ohlala eNew York eHudson Valley; kukho uClement okhankanywe ngasentla; kwaye kukho uWolfie, unyana womhlobo wesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ohlala emantla eVermont.

Ngaphandle kokufumaneka, esinye sezizathu zokuba ndicinga ukuba ndihlala ndicelwa ukuba ndibe nguthixo kukuba ndiye ecaweni. Yhoo andihambi qho ngeCawe, kuba ndihamba ngomsebenzi. Yaye ndiyakuthanda ukutshintsha amarhamente nokutyelela amanye amabandla. Kodwa ndibhalisela inxalenye enkulu yemfundiso yobuKristu. Ndicinga ukuba i-godparent ene-dogmatic ijongeka kancinci ngathi igxuphuleka kubazali abaninzi bale mihla. Umama kaWolfie—umhlobo wam uLaura—wakwenza kwacaca ukuba kwanokuya kubhaptizwa kwakhe kwakungeyomfuneko. Ngokombono wakhe wokuba nguthixo, kwaye yenye endiyifumene ipragmatic encomekayo, ndifumaneka ngokulula kwimeko apho uWolfie, xa emdala, unemibuzo malunga nobomi bokomoya.



Ukuba ukuya ecaweni okanye etempileni okanye kwi-mosque, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, umgangatho wesibini obaluleke kakhulu kwi-godparent, umgangatho obaluleke kakhulu yindawo enomyalelo, kunye nokufundisa into okanye ezimbini xa kufuneka. Ngaba u-godparent uyayenza le nto? Ngokomntu, ndinembali ende yokufundisa. Inxalenye yokucebisa nokufundisa ayilolwanga kum. Kodwa kanye kanye loluphi uhlobo lwemiyalelo esithetha ngayo? Uhlobo lokufundisa endandisoloko ndingaluthandi xa ndandingumfundi nam lo luhlobo olwalubandakanya ukufundisa kunye nokungayekeleli kwengqiniseko malunga nemathiriyeli ephononongwayo. Imfundiso ekwazi kakuhle oko kuthethwa kukufundisa iwela kwiindlebe ezingevayo. Ukufundisa kwenza umsebenzi ongcono xa imalunga nokuphulaphula. Nangona kungekho namnye wabantwana bam oye wacela ukuya kuthi ga ngoku ukuba afundiswe kubomi bakhe bokomoya, ndihlala ndilungele ukujongana nemibuzo xa ixesha lilungile. Kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba ndiqale ngokumamela. Ukumamela, njengoko ndikuqonda, kumalunga nokuvumela uClement ukuba adlule kuluhlu lwakhe lonke lwezilwanyana ezixutyiweyo, ezimvumela ukuba athathe ixesha elide njengoko kufuneka alithathe. Ukumamela kukuvumela umtshana wam uDylan andicacisele ngobude bokuqonda kwakhe ihlabathi leeMfazwe zeNkwenkwezi.



Kodwa ndicinga ukuba kusekho omnye umgangatho owenzela i-godparent elungileyo kula maxesha. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kunokushumayela. Ndicinga ukuba inento yokwenza nokuthetha inyaniso.



URicky Moody kunye nothixo wakhe kwisiXeko saseNew YorkKwaye eyona nyaniso ndingathanda ukwabelana nothixo wam inento yokwenza nokungaqiniseki ngokomoya. Kum, ubumoya bubandakanya ukungaqiniseki okufanelekileyo ngobomi bam bonqulo. Ngapha koko, ukungaqiniseki kuyinxalenye yendlela endisebenza ngayo njengecawe ngeeCawe.

Mhlawumbi imbali encinci ilungile. Phezu kwawo nje umdla awayenawo umama ecaweni nakwizinto zokomoya, andizange ndiyikhathalele kwaphela imfundo yonqulo kwasebuntwaneni. Ndaya ecaweni, njengoko abantu abaselula benza kwihlomela-dolophu, kodwa ndandisoloko ndivakalelwa kukuba i-insular, ubuKristu beyure yekofu yaseConnecticut, eyathiswa ngaphakathi endaweni yokholo lwangaphandle, yandishiya ngaphandle, kunokuba ndingene. Andizange ndibe nabahlobo abaninzi. ecaweni; Andizange ndikhonze njengomfana wasesiguqweni. Ndade ndafumanisa ukuba nomthandazo uyinto engaqondakaliyo. Babesenza ntoni abantu xa babecinezela izandla zabo kunye? Kum icawe yayibonakala imalunga nomboniso kunento nje. Maxa wambi ndandicinga ukuba ndiyayiqonda icawa yaye ndifuna ukuba yinxalenye yayo. Kodwa ngokufuthi ndandingenamdla kwaphela. Andizange ndibhaptizwe kwaye andizange ndiqinisekiswe. Njengabantwana abaninzi abakuntanga yam, ndiyaqikelela, ndacinga ngamava ecawe yonke njengento enovelwano. Amabali okuzalwa nokuvuswa kukaYesu ayengamabali amnandi, kodwa ngaba ayengaphezulu koko?

Le ndlela yokuthandabuza yayilungile kubomi bam bokuqala, ubuncinane de ndaqalisa ukusebenzisa iziyobisi notywala. Emva kovavanyo oluninzi lolutsha lwe-LSD phakathi kwiminyaka yee-'70s, ndaba nohambo oludla ngokubizwa ngokuba luhambo olubi. Ekubambeni kweli chiza, ndafumana izinto ezininzi ezingekhoyo kwiintyatyambo, amaphupha amabi awaba yinyani kakhulu. Emva kwaloo mava, ndiziva ndingomelelanga yaye ndibuthathaka, ndagqiba ekubeni ndibhaptizwe. Ndandifuna, ndacinga, isakhelo sokuya ecaweni, ndandifuna ukhuseleko lwayo, kwaye ngeli xesha linzima nelingathandekiyo, bonke abangcwele becawe yobuntwana bam babonakala benobubele ngequbuliso, benentliziyo enkulu, kwaye bamkelekile. Olu luhlobo lwamava oguquko endinokucebisa ngalo kubantwana bam bezithixo, ndiyacinga, uhlobo olungenanto yakwenza neengcinga zomhlambi wokuya ecaweni. Ndiyakwazi ukucebisa ubomi bomoya obumalunga nokufuna amava angqalileyo ayintoni na uThixo, kwaye afumana imvelaphi yawo kwimfuno yokomoya.

Bekuya kuba kuhle ukuba ndinokuthi ubhaptizo lutshintshe yonke into, ukuba ubomi bam bokomoya buhamba ngendlela ethe tye emva koko. Kodwa kwiminyaka yam yeshumi elivisayo nakwiminyaka yokuqala yama-20, ndasuka nje ndawayeka amayeza awandenza ndacinga ngeziyobisi ezithintela ukucinga, utywala kuqala phakathi kwabalinganayo. Ukusela kunesithethe eside phakathi kwababhali, kwaye bendifuna ukubhala, kwaye ke ndaziva ndikhuthazwa ukuba ndizibhokoxe ngamabhongo kwiinjongo zokuba nengxaki yokusela. Kwaye into yokuqala eyathi yaphazamisa oku yayibubomi bomoya.

Kwiibhari zasekuhlaleni ndachitha iminyaka esibhozo okanye esithoba ndiziva ndinelunda ngokukholelwa kubukho bukaThixo. Ukungakholelwa kuTixo, ngakumbi njengoko kuchazwa ziinkcuba-buchopho ezinjengoMarx noFreud ekugxekeni kwabo ngokungqongqo yonke into enxulumene noThixo, ngoku kum kubonakala kuluhlobo olunzulu lwenkolelo yokomoya. Ukungakholelwa kuTixo, ndiyakrokra, kuqiniseke kanye njengobufundamentali. Kodwa uthanda i-nihilists. Ngelo xesha, i-nihilism yayiyeyona nto ilungileyo endandinokuyenza. Emva kokuba ndifikelele kwi-bankruptcy yentliziyo kwiminyaka yam ye-20s, uhlobo lobunxila bubonakala buxhotyiswe ngokukodwa, ndayibeka ecaleni ibhotile, apho ekugqibeleni ndaziva, ngokunyanisekileyo, ukuba okwenzekayo ngaphakathi kweecawe yinto endiyiyo. andinakukwazi ukuyiphepha. Andikwazanga ukubuphepha ubunzulu bayo, andizange ndikwazi ukubuphepha ububele bayo, andizange ndikwazi ukukuphepha ukuhlutha kwayo. Akuzange kube kudala emva koko, njengommi othe tye ngakumbi, ndafumana uthixo wam wokuqala, uDylan.



Ukusukela ngoko, ubomi bam ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwecawe khange bube bucwangco, bube nokuqonda, buzenzekele. Ukususela oko ndayeka ukusela, ndiye ndabandakanyeka kulo naluphi na uhlobo loqeqesho lokomoya. Ndiye ndaphanda ukuya kwisikolo sobufundisi, ndizibhengeze ukuba ndingumBhuda, ndizibhengeze ukuba ndingumTao, ndiye kwiinkonzo zamaQuaker kwaye ndincoma ubabalo kunye nokulula kwentetho yabo ecacileyo, ndiye ndalandela ezinye zeengxaki zeyoga, kwaye ndaye ndacinga ukuba ndingumBhuda. baye batyelela isiqingatha seshumi elinesibini irhamente Episcopal. Ndiye ndanentandabuzo ngoThixo nangobuKristu, ndiye ndahlazeka, ngamaxesha athile, ngobuKrestu. Kwaye ndiye ndonwabile, ndashukunyiswa, ndade ndathuthwa.

Le khathalogu imfutshane yeempumelelo zokomoya kunye neentsilelo iziva iMelika kakhulu kum, mhlawumbi nanamhlanje. Ukuqonda kwam ubomi baseMelika kukuba kwenzeka kwilizwe lenkolo ngokungafihlisiyo, kodwa isizwe sethu siphatha imvakalelo yenkolo ngendlela efanayo nesiphatha ngayo imveliso entsha: 'Ndiza kuthatha enye yezo, kunye nenye yazo, kunye nesiqingatha seshumi elinesibini. abo.' Mhlawumbi ndibe netyala le nto ngokwam, indlela yevenkile engenazingcambu kuphando lomoya emalunga nokukhangela kunokuyifumana. Kwihlabathi lokomoya okanye lenkolo elijolise kubathengi, izityhilelo akunzima ukuza nazo, kodwa ngaba zihlala zihlala? Unokuhlala uzalwa ngokutsha, oko kukuthi, kodwa ukwamkela imiphumo enzulu kunye neyinkathazo yokuzalwa kwakho kwindawo yokuqala kunzima kakhulu ukwenza.

Kule mihla, ndizama ukuhlala ndaweninye, irhamente enye, ukholo olunye. Kweli nqanaba liphezulu, ndinombono wentaka ngayo yonke into ekhathaza ukholo lwangoku. Icawa yam, iCawa yama-Episcopal, ibonakala ngathi iyantlukwano ngeendlela ezintsha nezinogonyamelo mihla le—ngenxa yemibuzo enjengokumiselwa kwamafanasini nomtshato wamafanasini. Ndiyayazi into endiyicingayo ngale mibuzo (ndikholelwa ukuba icawa yeyomntu wonke), kodwa le yeyona ndawo kuphela kubomi bam bokomoya endingathandabuziyo.

Ukuba oku, ekugqibeleni, uhlobo godparent ndinokuba kakhulu inyaniso, lowo ungaqinisekanga, lowo uzele amathandabuzo, ndingakwazi ukukhonza ngokuzithemba nangentliziyo yam yonke? Kulo mbuzo ndingawuphendula ngo-ewe ovakalayo. Ndingathanda ukunika uClem, umzekelo, uhlobo lukatata ozimisele ngokugqibeleleyo ukuba agqitywe ngekrele le-floppy, ngaphandle kwesikhalazo, okanye ukumfundisa amazwi athi 'Highway to Hell,' ngu-AC/DC, kwaye ngubani Ukholelwa ukuba ukubandakanya indlela ebuthathaka, engaqondakaliyo kubomi bomoya kukusukela inxalenye yothixo wokuba ngumzali kwangaxeshanye ilandela indima yobuzali. Ukungazi kukuqala kwemfundo, njengoko batshoyo, kwaye ukufundiseka kukuqala kobulumko. Ukungaqiniseki, kunye nomonde oza nokungaqiniseki-umonde ofunekayo ukuphanda nokulinda iziphumo apho ubomi bomoya buxhomekeke khona, mhlawumbi nomonde, ngamanye amaxesha, ukufunda kubantwana bam bezithixo njengoko befanele ukufunda kum-la mabhongo. yenza, ndicingela, ngenxa ye-godparent enesiphene kwaye engumntu kakhulu, kodwa kwanalowo ukulungeleyo ukuphila ubomi njengoko bunjalo endaweni yokuphembelela iinkolelo kunye nomlo weManichaean phakathi kokulungileyo nokubi. Le yile nto kanye ndinethemba lokuyidlulisela kwiintlawulo zam zomoya nanini na kufuneka: ukwaneliseka, ukungaqiniseki, kunye nengqondo evulekileyo malunga nobomi bomoya.



Amanqaku Umdla